2008.12.22``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Nearly 2009. 

2008 was full of turmoil and rapid waters that seemed more intent on disorienting and 

drowning than on moving somewhere worthwhile, like forward. 

There are a few days left. I look to the stars. Bless the Broken Road. 

.Christmas Eve is the night of miracles, who knows? 

2008.12``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Tired. So very tired.

Exhausted.

The world is still spinning, but I'm still living.

The sun morphs to a blood red as it begins to kiss the horizon, the hue

signaling the end of light and warmth for the day. Fitting.

The days are nearly numbered.

2008.11```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Honor1

BETRAYALNONE

When you come into this world have two things:

Your name and your word...and they are tied together.

When you go against your word you are trashing your

name...and betraying someone.

Was it someone you can afford to lose?

2008.11```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Doing something out of personal loyalty and a sense of honor isn't irrational

or unintelligent; it only seems that way because it's become unfashionable.

2008.11```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

...3: Lower Eject Guard, CLEAR. 4: Fuel Panel, set and checked. 5: Flaps,

to 1/2. 6. Anti-Skid, on. 7: Warning Lights, checked.....and four minutes later

the wheels were in the wells. 37 minutes later and I was connected to a

tanker and 71 minutes after that I was 'feet dry'. He was on a recip heading

with little hope of my altitude. I rolled a bit and pushed some rudder and could

not see him despite the clear day. Our closing speed was impressive and I

debated on gaining sky as it would slow me down. When he was close he

snapped up vertical, my fingers on the countermeasures panel. Instantly they

were there, tracers going straight up, directly in front of me. I quick rolled

and banked yet still felt the impacts from nose to tail underneath me. I scanned

below to see the silver aircraft tumbling down behind me, my foe using all

his available airspeed to spray a lead wall in my path. I pushed the aircraft

back on course and scanned the panel. With the rumble of the impacts

fresh and rattling in my head on looping playback I was gratified to see no

red or amber lights. 20 seconds later my senses are assaulted. Warning

lamps and audible alarms along with an electrical burning smell scream to

me that this is bad. Controls go heavy as the lifeblood of the hydraulic

system escape into the frigid air. Differential throttle control helps me ease

into a turn back towards safe airspace, my original objective now completely

out of my grasp. Survival is the objective now. As I stabilize the craft the words

of my instructor keep ringing through my ears. They have replaced the awful

sounds of metal piercing my ship and completely drown out the powerful

GE motors. "It is never the first emergency that kills you!!"

2008.11``````````````

Ignore visual input. Slow the heart rate and the breathing. Modified teacup down.

Weak leg forward, find balance. Bring the rhythm, join the area. Melt. Of children

and circumstance. Slow breath out. Caught in this childhood dance. Cue up.

Visual: billy in close. As the world turns around.  Focus. Merge the planes.

Keeping dreams on the ground. Don't force it. Blend. TEN. TEN. Windows

of frosted ice. Ignore smoke and smell. Prisming candlelight. TEN. And

somehow we start to believe. Subtle shift, transfer with pressure change.

TEN. TEN.  In the night and the dream. TEN. TEN. As it cuts through

the noise. TEN. TEN. Transfer pressure. With the whisper of snow. TEN.

TEN. It's coming up. TEN. Left down, pull replacement, right thumb eject,

maintain visual picture. As it starts to deploy. Up till seat. In the depths

of a night. Release. That's about to begin. Appropriate. TEN. With the

feeling of snow. TEN. TEN. As it melts on your skin. TEN. And it covers

the land. TEN. With a dream so intense. TEN. Pressure change. That it

returns us all. TEN. To a child's innocence. TEN. And then what you'd

thought lost. Minimal effort. TEN. TEN.  And could never retrieve. TEN.

Pressure change. TEN. Is suddenly there to be found. Uno mas, por favor.

On Christmas eve…TEN.

250/250. Perfect score. Again. Four for four today.  

Dad's smiling.

2008.11`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

I've walked across the sun. I've seen events so tiny and so fast they hardly can be

said to have occurred at ALL, but you...You are a man.

...And the world's smartest man means no more to me than does its smartest termite.

03.06.09

2008.10`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

"Tigers, the name of the game is high mach

and clean fangs"

-Snake

2008.09````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

B000M

GB

6SC

5 336

2008.09```````````````

The peace that passes all understanding.

978 0 452 28996 3

56-58

2008.08``````````

200 yards or 2000. Can't tell. Thick cloud-cover spoils the stars

and eliminates any celestial reference. Deep in thick trees, Luminox

compass my only guide. Can't even see my feet. Stumbling with 80

pounds on my back, hands in front of me sweeping into branches,

spider webs, and hopefully nothing else. Canines barking a few

thousand yards off. Faint glow ahead means limestone and that

means the creek. A solid path, but treacherous on the ankles,

and not so quiet. Slow and steady. Minutes turn into quarter-

hours that turn into half-hours that turn into hours. 72 ounces

is down to less than 12. This is taking entirely too long. Slow

and steady. Control the steps and the heart-rate and keep the

easy flow.

Lost? 

Perish the thought.

2008.08``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

A quick shuffle step and the ledge vanishes. Open air in a losing fight

with gravity. Flight. The air tickling the skin and electrifying the nerves.

Time speeds up denying the glorious instant any longevity but for

that short moment it is merely a stranger enjoying the domain of the

birds...briefly passing through a foreign dimension to simply survive.

The pressure on the chest, the squinting of the eyes to remain focused

despite the wind, and the simple blackness that made this nightfall

include a night fall. Quiet and still save the gentle flapping of clothing

that nearly ruins it. He stops. Begins to crane his head skyward.

The impact of the elbow to his neck makes this nightfall his last. 

2008.08``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Twilight, a wooded path skirting some warehouses. Sprinting for too long,

muscles beginning to ache despite the adrenalin. Inspecting the path for 

a better escape or a tool to use. Finally, a piece of a pallet that gets scooped

up as the sprint slows. Duck behind a large bush on right at a kink in the trail.

Three large quick breaths. Slow down the heart. Footsteps. Concentrate. Patience.

Close eyes. 5 seconds, easy deep inhale. 3 seconds, intensify grip. 1 second,

Step out with left foot as upper body rotates right. Square up, then instantly rotate

hips left creating inertia that adds power to the right arm as the board begins to

move enough air to be audible as exhaling. 0 seconds, impact. The crunch of bone

folding up, flesh tearing, a muffled yell and blood flying.

Secure the weapon. Listen. Patience. Faint footsteps of a small group. Head to

the warehouses.

Isolate, eliminate, repeat.

2008.08````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

In the midst of darkness, the cold and unforgiving tile pulls the

heat and warmth from the body. Slowly and completely it takes

the comfort and sanctuary and replaces it with soreness, aches,

and chills that cross into muscles on their way to the soul. Breathing

becomes shallow. Turmoil spreads to the consciousness, bringing

awareness, weapons, and blood.

2008.07```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Welcome.